Ulgrim the Unpleasant

Gharu'ndim

Sho

Viamontians

Ispar History

Auberean History

Texts

Rumors

You give Ulgrim the Unpleasant Stout.
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'll stop what those Virindi are planning. Just as soon as I figure out what that plan is."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Hey don't worry, I can handle it. I drank something."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What's with the rabbit costume?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "You know this isn't some vacation hotspot. This is my home!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "Does he look ok to you? He's never been much of a conversationalist, but lately he's been talking to thin air and it's a bit disturbing."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'm planning on grabbing one of those swords off the Tumerok Overlord. He never seems to run out of them... must have a stash of them somewhere."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Do you think it's getting too weird around here?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Tell Let me give you a bit of advice my friend. Never look up a magician's robe, it ruins the surprise. Wait, or was it a magician's sleeve?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Hey, could you maybe lure some monsters over towards the tower? I'm kinda bored and I could pick them off pretty easy from up here."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Some monsters get stronger, some monsters get weaker. Just remember what ol' Ulgrim says when the health is down, fire is raining from the sky and monsters are clawing at his throat."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Strong...weak. I'm the one with the wand."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've seen some strange things here on Dereth, but why in the world would I want to fling things around with some dead git's extremities?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I can't sleep in Ayan anymore. I came out here to try and get some rest at my friends place, but I'm still having the bad dreams. I think maybe it's time to head back to my house for awhile."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "So! You think you may be able to out-drink me!"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yeah, and maybe tuskers will fly out of my..."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "But, seriously you haven't got a chance. I've been training my entire life!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Are you standing comfortably?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Then we'll begin..."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Patty Cake"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Patty Cake"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Baker's man"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Bake me a cake"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "As fast as you can." (Side note: I know this is not new, but he did it.)

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'll stop what those Virindi are planning. Just as soon as I figure out what that plan is."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Hey don't worry, I can handle it. I drank something."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What's with the rabbit costume?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Thanks! Watch this."
The Drunken Madman sputters as the stout pours down on him.
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Bwahahaha! I never get tired of that."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Did you know my face is on the Soul Staff?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yup, I'm immortalized! It's the third face down. Some people may claim it's the guy who created the staff, but he's nobody and I'm famous."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yesterday, I almost drank a one that was not cold. Good thing I caught myself in time!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Tell Let me give you a bit of advice my friend. Never look up a magician's robe, it ruins the surprise. Wait, or was it a magician's sleeve?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It's time to kick it!"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "That's my new dance!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You doubt my chess abilities? Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Yuri, Bobby, Trumper, Blue?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Morons."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Hey kid."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Catch."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant gives you Clean, Dry Towel.

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Hello? Are you even listening to me?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I have nothing to do with the blue bandages! Figure it out for yourselves!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "So you've heard about Leandra's wonderful new chorizite formula? Yeah, made that same formula years ago, except I used orichalcum. My formula made normal beer mugs larger on the inside than on the outside. I only have the one sample left here. It holds about 30 normal mugs of stout."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It's good that she's following in my footsteps though, it shows she's very wise."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "The monsters are moving again. It would seem that the Virindi are focusing their control on something else. I think they're planning on taking the Direlands over. You should see the way Claudes been smiling at me recently, like he knows something, that smug cloak-head."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Are you standing comfortably?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Then we'll begin..."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Patty Cake"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Patty Cake"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Baker's man"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Bake me a cake"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "As fast as you can."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've been studying other people's dreams recently. Tell me your dream and I'll give you a greater insight into your psyche."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Take your time."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What happened then?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Very interesting, continue."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "So let me recap to make sure I have it. You dreamed of a Virindi abducting you then strapping you to a weird table and performing horrible experiments on you. And later returning you to your bed as if nothing ever happened?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "This is a tough dream to decipher... I'm pretty sure the Virindi represents the hardships in your life and the experiments being performed on you are situations that you feel are out of your control. Or it's equally possible that you are being abducted by Virindi and you need to move somewhere safe where they can't find you. Good luck with that."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've been studying other people's dreams recently. Tell me your dream and I'll give you a greater insight into your psyche."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yes, yes, quite common."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I understand."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It was full you say?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "That's a perfectly normal dream. The giant mugs of stout are symbols of wholeness and well being and the scantily clad barmaids are a sign of a healthy libido and respect for the womanly form. I wouldn't worry about the talking rabbit too much. He never makes much sense in my dreams either."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Bah! I told you so!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I had a dream that I was standing on the Obsidian Span and three suns were rising over the horizon. The left sun rose pitch black and cast a dark veil over the land, making it shift and twist in the shadow. The right sun was a deep blue and where it shed it's light the land became as one uninterrupted blue plane without life. The center sun was a brilliant red and it's light came in waves of blood raging up the River Prosper."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "A moment of silence for seven lost heroes."

Ulgrim stumbles and mutters something unintelligible, "Y syh uhla tnaysat ra fyc y piddanvmo. Frah ra yfuga, ra hu muhkan ghaf ev ra fyc y piddanvmo tnaysehk ra fyc y syh, un y syh fru ryt tnaysat ra fyc y piddanvmo."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I tried getting Claude drunk thinking I could get some information out of him. After various explanations of the social aspects of drinking and it's utility in forming emotional bonds, he lifts the stout mug to his mouth hole. The stout pours right through him and onto the floor. Agh! What a waist! That's alchohol abuse! You can't trust a creature that can't hold their liquor."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It's time to kick it!"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "That's my new dance!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I wouldn't live in Arwic. Too many things under the bed."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Some mage called me a gimp the other day."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I asked him what a gimp was and he said "You, Gimpy! What kindof a gimp mage has a 40 Focus?""
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "So I portaled him to that new valley everyone is talking about to find out what kind of mage he is."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Still not rolling your own?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Maybe I should consider getting some of those new attribute transfer gems."


Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I here the virindi are acting up again. Claude better not get any ideas or I'll be adding another mask to my collection."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "My friend Wah Chon in Nanto, has brewed a new lager. I highly recommend it."

You give Ulgrim the Unpleasant Wah Chon's Winter Lager.
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Wah Chon's new brew! It's a bit spicier than what I commonly drink, but it has a wonderful hearty flavor that warms my wintered soul."
Ulgrim tips the stein and drains it in one long draught.
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Gasp! Great Mattekar that's tasty! This inspires me to rhyme!"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "A larger lager lather is the taste I'd rather gather"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "when my lesser lager's suds are in the drink."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Then I mull the flavor over with it's hops and malts and clover"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "and again about the pub is what I think."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It's so good to be back! I had a fine time bar hopping across Dereth, but I missed this sandy burg."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Good to see the Virindi didn't kill everyone. I was a bit worried they might get ideas with me gone."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I would have been back sooner but I had to stop by my house to look for a piece of paper."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I visited that new island for a bit before coming home. It was great tossing those little tuskies around and convincing the bigger ones that sand is made of nanners."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "But, what's with the name Aphus Lassel? Like a tusker could pronounce that! I was tempted to call it Flying Monkey Island II, but I finally settled on Boboland instead."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "The Tusker King seemed to like the name. That big fellow can really knock 'em back."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I don't trust that Virindi, Claude, he's hiding something from the rest of us."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Late at night I hear noises and see blue flickering lights coming from his tent."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What's he doing in there?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What the heck is he doing in there?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've drunk things you people wouldn't believe."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Burning Mana Blasts off the coast of the Caul."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've watched pint glasses glitter in the ephemeral light of portal space."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "All these memories will be lost, like stout from a keg..."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Time to drink."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I challenged Bobo to a drinking contest the other day. We were having those silly umbrella drinks and he gave me a run for my money, but he eventually gave in. He doesn't like loosing so I accepted his challenge to a banana eating competition."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I never want to see another banana again!"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Let's just say he won."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Lee of the stone!? How do you know about that!?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You stay away from my stash or I'll have to get nasty! Arrr!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Elysa moving closer to Asheron's Isle? Uh-huh, yeah, you know what's going on."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "New house decorations? I've seen them, but who needs decorations when you have stout."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Ooooo the colors!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Don't trust Ketnan! He's always mixed up in something bad. How did he get into that volcano anyway? They probably sacrificed him."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Bah! I told you so!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yeah, I roll my own healing kit's too."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Smooth."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "A lot of people asked me how I did such a fine job tinkering my amazing sword here."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Come in closer and I'll tell you."
Ulgrim looks around to see if anyone is listening.
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "First I salvaged 100 ingots of orichalcum to make a bar of orichalcum. Herds of Griner often drop orichalcum weapons. Then I used my Ust and..."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What do you mean you've never heard of orichalcum! Look I can't be troubled to explain everything to you. Go ask a Lugian or something!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Hey! Welcome to the Xarabydun Pub! Grab a stool and let's have a drink to celebrate Gaerlan's defeat. I'm partial to Stout myself."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "Anam, a mug of Stout on my friend here! And my friend's having..."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You doubt my chess abilities? Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Yuri, Bobby, Trumper, Blue?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Morons."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I went and played on the new chessboards yesterday. I beat everyone there; even that old chess champion Large Red. You may now call me Ulgrim Chess Grandmaster or just his Highness if you prefer."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I finally got the Xarabydun entrance to open so I could visit my favorite Pub in Dereth. I'm enjoying Anam's fine establishment before heading back to Ayan. Aino was sad to see me go, but my life is one of adventure, excitement and drink."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Not necessarily in that order."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I was telling my cousin the other day about this big tusker I saw while traveling across the barren plains. Now, when I say big I mean huge! This thing must have stood over 50 feet tall and it had this strange look in its eyes."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It tried to step on me, but I shockwaved it in the orbs and ran for it. Aliester didn't believe me at first, but I convinced him."

Ulgrim motions the bar for more stout.
Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "Aw! None Left!"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Bah! I told you so!"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "Anam my good man, keep 'em coming!"
Barkeep Anam says, "Sure Ulgrim, why don't you finish what you have first."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "All done and wanting for more dear barkeep."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "That's the stuff."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "So, Harlune is an Empyrean?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "I thought they were all supposed to be asleep, instead they're everywhere. This could be a bad trend. Half of the Empyrean I've met have been genocidal maniacs. I'll have to keep my eye on him."

*ulgrim cringes*
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Oh, it's only you. Do me a favor and let me know if you see anything strange. I'm a little worried by what I've been seeing in the mana tides. And if you have any stout you might spare I would love a drink."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "Hey you, do me a favor and let me know if you see a tall man in a red robe coming."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I love Xarabydun! It's always nice this time of year. I figured I should take a much needed vacation out here. I'm sure they will need my help below if anything should happen."

Ulgrim pauses.
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Niwa Banli-Zan?" [character name!!]
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I have heard some weird names, but..."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What were your parents thinking?!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Have you seen some of these people's names? So... their mother was really a mule? So they can't reproduce then? That's probably for the best."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Well, I decided to come out here and visit my good friend Aino."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "She's been a bit worried about all of the Elemental activity."
Aino Lunnan-Shin looks at Ulgrim with an incredulous expression.
Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "What?!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've been informing Aino here about the importance of having a planned escape route in case of a fire or something. So far it just involves running for the Xarabydun portal, but I'm sure we should duck and cover or something."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Does that portal look any different to you?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "No?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Hmmm..."

*ulgrim casts a spell*
Ulgrim watches the portal for any changes.
Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "Son of a Mule!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Martine's gone. He stood up to that bastard Gaerlan and brought down his citadel. We need to insure that his sacrifice wasn't in vain. May you find your peace Martine."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've got a secret stash of stout. I'm not telling you where, but if anything should happen to me give this message to Celcynd in Rithwic."
Look for it there in the lee of the stone.
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "He'll know what I mean."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "The Citadels crashed... I felt the battle raging in the northeast for nearly half a day. At the end I blacked out, but I think Martine must have used some terrible magics against Gaerlan. When I came to I couldn't sense either of them. I don't see how Martine could have survived the energies he unleashed."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I hope no one takes my sword. I had to leave it behind in Ayan Baqur."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Xara has always been a home away from home for me. Besides if things go badly it may have the last tavern in all of Dereth."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Why doesn't Asheron just portal that troublemaker to the Olthoi World? Hehe, bet he wouldn't like it when he's surrounded by big nasty bugs with extra mouths and pincers and nasty bits."

Aino Lunnan-Shin says, "Ulgrim, please do not bug my patrons. Thank you."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Why don't you make yourself useful and go find out what's happening with Gaerlan."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I stopped dancing here in Aino's tent since I broke one of her tables."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "They said to me"
Ulgrim says in a funny voice: Ulgrim, you just drank your one-millionth stout. What are you going to do now?
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "...and I said 'I'm going to Xarabydun!'"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Pretty furniture? Back in my day, when we quested it wasn't for pretty furniture! It was for mattress skirts! Oh, wait, I mean it was for gold! Which we then used to buy mattress skirts. You have a problem with that?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I was writing spell on this scroll"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "An ah shallow shark was like Grrrr Grrrr Grrrr"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "And then, like half my scroll was gone... and I was like..."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Unnhh?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It devoured my spell... was a really good spell and then I had to write it again and I had to do it fast, so it wasn't as good..."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It's kind of....."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "a bummer."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yeah, monogamy is for suckers, besides I'm married to my job."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "That's the stuff!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Another town lost, elementals taking over everywhere, what's with this world anyway?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "We should all move to the underground cities and wait for this thing to blow over."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I hear people have seen Nuhmudira near the Arcanum. If she's really back then she's one tough woman. Yup..."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Hope she isn't still sore about that whole death lever thing."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Seems to me that the monsters of Dereth have started some sort of black market for their stolen goods. The other day I found some Covenant Armor on a Banderling. Perhaps they have been stealing items from the Arcanum after all."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I think Gaerlan's Citadel is heading this way. He must have heard of my prowess and now he's coming to challenge me. Do me a favor and warn me if you see his Citadel on the horizon so that I can... prepare."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I imbued my sword. I bet it would do some nasty damage if I could lift it."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It's also a rather nice nightlight."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I was tired of having to run over hills just to kill a creature so I created the Arcing Spells. Now everyone is using them and nobody is giving me any credit! I think I deserve the title Archmage at least."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Give me any rings you don't want. I've been collecting them ever since I found one near the water the other day."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Ulgrim the Archmage, Master of Time and Space, Leader of the Virindi Resistance, Master Tinkerer, Seer of Truths, Master of the Jewelry, Peppermint Cook, Celebrations Advisor to the Queen. Yes, that fits nicely with my other titles."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You know what the Virindi call a Royal Atlatl with Deadly Darts?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "A Royal Atlatl with Deadly Darts. The Virindi aren't all that creative."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "A UST huh? You know what that stands for right?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Ulgrim's Salvaging Tool."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Pretty impressive, I know, but what do you expect from the Master Tinkerer."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Asheron can't be dead, he's to clingy to just die on us."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I had a really bad dream last night. I was gazing into my stout, as I often do, when the surface started to boil and froth and then these four figures seemed to rise out of the suds. Then the most horrible thing happened. They drank my stout! All of it! They just seemed to suck it all up! It was horrible!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Martine seems to have an unhealthy infatuation with the Queen. Stalkers are never good, especially when they're omnipotent."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I hear Martine finally did it. He blasted Asheron with one of his strike spells."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "If he wasn't so wrapped up in his little love drama he might have listened to the old man for once! Bohoo, Martine! We've all had it rough!!! You don't see me going around shooting people!!!"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I always thought he would be the end of us..."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I guess in a way he will be. Without Asheron, we can't stop Gaerlan."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Nice knowing you."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Oh, you are admiring my sword?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It's going to be the best sword in all of Dereth! I've already increased it's burden and made it worthless. I just have to figure out why it keeps turning green..."
 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Fending off insane Humarindi is thirsty work. Fetch me some stout from old Berkholt and I'll clue you in to what's really going on around here, okay, friend?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I showed Martine my portal joke. He didn't find it very funny though. When I got to the part where his wife says "Hi" ...he kind of lost it, I thought he was going to ring spell me or something."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "He said something about losing my lifestone tie."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Heh, what a kidder. He can't do that... can he?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Some people just can't take a joke."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Oh? Pretty new house trinket? I've seen those Arcane Pedestals before."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Seems pretty irresponsible to be tinkering with ancient Empyrean devices. Doesn't anyone remember the Great Work? Hello?! We released the Hopeslayer doing just this sort of thing."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Bah! Do whatever you want, but don't forget I told you so."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "The Queen made a visit here the other day. She gave me some water and I accidentally spit it out on her boots..."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Hey! I thought she was giving me some stout. That water stuff is horrible! It was an honest mistake."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Anyway, Ash was there too and he understood, he even snickered. We're friends from way back."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Turns out they just wanted some advice on which spirits to have at some party they're going to throw. They came to the right man for that. I gave them a list I had already made out of all my favorites."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Did you here about that Grievver Man in the North Osteth Woods?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Living in the wilds with a bunch of bugs? He's one pyreal short of an M-Note if you know what I mean."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yeah, monogamy is for suckers, besides I'm married to my job."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "That's the stuff!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Go away, I don't feel well. I just want to be alone with my drink."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "We play with toys while real enemies move unchecked! Where are our Leaders!? It's not metal, but flesh we should fear."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I didn't really want the old bat to die. We are making rash choices on things we know very little about.
I should have tried to help her...."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I fear we may have made a far worse monster than she ever could have been."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Muh... He visited me last night. I thought I was having a dream... I wish it were a dream."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "He wanted to tell me something, but all I could hear was this loud ringing noise. His hollow eyes... he didn't even see me really."
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What did he say to me?!? What was it?"
Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I think he said soon. What did he mean? Soon? We can't die! We shouldn't be able to die should we?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You like my flowers?" (Ulgrim smells flowers)

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Gosh! They smell all nice and flowery."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've learned all the new portal spells. I especially like the Tie to Ispar."
(Ulgrim disappears)

Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "Shurov Thispar!" (Ulgrim reappears)

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Your Mom says Hi."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "The fly catches the spider..."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "That wrinkly old hag deserves it though, messing around with forces she doesn't understand. Can't wait to find out what my reward will be."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yeah, monogamy is for suckers, besides I'm married to my job."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "That's the stuff!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Martine huh? He's always been a Pawn. He only thinks he's playing the King... he best watch out for the Queen and the Bishop... even his own pieces are suspect."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Cragstone's Armor? Cragstone's Axe? If I wanted some rusty old armor and an axe I'de go buy them from Sang and Sung."
 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Fending off the Virindi is thirsty work. Fetch me some stout from old Berkholt and I'll clue you in to what's really going on around here, okay, friend?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Psst, I've heard they were seen outside of towns recently. I've even heard that the Giant Snowmen are selling instructions on how to make more of the smaller ones. They are using witless fools to add to their frozen army. One more reason I stay out here in the desert."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Dance for me Drudge Boy!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Give me any rings you don't want. I've been collecting them ever since I found one near the water the other day."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I heard an ancient prophecy the other day. Here it is: "And then the Bull became a Wizard, and he still kicked everyone's patootie!""

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Pretty furniture? Back in my day, when we quested it wasn't for pretty furniture! It was for mattress skirts! Oh, wait, I mean it was for gold! Which we then used to buy mattress skirts. You have a problem with that?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'm a tired, old, bitter man. Truth or lie?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Oh, a new island, huh? You're all excited about it, huh? Here's one important question you have to ask yourself: Does it have Ulgrim on it? That should tell you all you need to know."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "The grass is always greener on the other side. At least at my house it was. It's not my fault Dad never understood the basics of preventative lawn care!" 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You cannot always acquire what you desire. You cannot always acquire what you desire. But if you attempt it occasionally, you potentially could discover, that you acquire what you require. I'm thinking of setting it to music." 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've been to Steiner's Recliners. Nice wares. Versatile solutions to pre-urban living."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yarrr, look at me, I have no head! Oh, wait, I'm not wearing that thing... Well, heck, where did I put it? So easy to misplace..."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Candeth Martine came through here the other day. He said he'd teach me the secrets of his magic in exchange for my Virindi-repulsion techniques. I slapped him on the back of his glowing head and sent him packing."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I hear tell that Aliester the Loquacious is retiring. Well, good riddance to him, the wordy prat. Only man who ever beat me in a drinking contest... Wait, you didn't hear me say that."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yeah, I think it's about time I opened up that other island... Be respectful when you get there, though. It's my island."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'm a learned sage! I shouldn't have to put up with this shabby treatment! Get me another stout, kid!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You know why the Obsidian Plains aren't so dense with critters any more? They heard about how righteously I regulated the Virindi, and now they're quaking in terror for miles around."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I hear tell that Aliester the Loquacious is retiring. Well, good riddance to him, the wordy prat. Only man who ever beat me in a drinking contest... Wait, you didnt hear me say that." 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Those mansions I've seen are pretty nice, but nowhere near as nice as the fortress I built for myself on Asherons Island." 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "So much for speeds beyond the ken of mortal man, eh?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Diamond Lords! That's all people are asking me about these days! Who cares about the Diamond Lord? I'm the Beer Lord! Arrr!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Arrr, looks like the critters of Dereth have gone and moved their nests around again. Well, good for them. Me, I like my spot here by the wall. Makes me feel rooted in the community."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Okay, so it's not stout that repels Virindi death squads. It's actually this old robe of mine, which I haven't changed in months!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I saw someone carrying a Quiddity weapon recently, dressed in purple chain mail... He didn't look quite right. Had Virindi stink on him, you know? Anyway, he looked right at me, gave me a little nod, and then murdered some poor fool shopping at the armorsmith's. I wonder what was going on with that?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've seen those pretty new weapons people have been carrying around... Awful nice, if you can trust a Virindi-spawned weapon not to suck out your soul through your eyes."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Has that darned white rabbit come through again? Oh, he's my archnemesis, he is... I've got a surprise for him, though. Soon he'll be at my feet... Or on my feet... I'm not making much sense, am I?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You can bet that those Virindi are up to no good on that new island of theirs. The island I have dubbed Flying Monkey Island. Have you ever seen those Tuskers come barreling off the cliffs to land on unfortunate suckers? Ugly, and yet somehow beautiful..."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Those new Virindi floating fortresses... you know what those are made from? Gromnatrosses! No, wait, that was them other towers... Oh yeah, the Virindi towers are made from... Orichalcum! What? You've never heard of orichalcum? You ought to get more educated, kiddo."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've seen those pretty new weapons people have been carrying around... Awful nice, if you can trust a Virindi-spawned weapon not to suck out your soul through your eyes."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "People are trying to figure out what attracts the attention of those roving Virindi death squads. Well, I'll tell you what, stout repels them. Have you noticed, they never attack me?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "So the Virindi and Tumeroks are moving into Osteth, are they? Figured as much, since they realized that the Direlands... belong to me."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I heard Claude muttering smugly about how the Virindi are masters of time and space. Great bunch of hogwash, that is. I'm the master of time and space."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You can bet that those Virindi are up to no good on that new island of theirs. The island I have dubbed Flying Monkey Island. Have you ever seen those Tuskers come barreling off the cliffs to land on unfortunate suckers? Ugly, and yet somehow beautiful..."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Has that darned white rabbit come through again? Oh, he's my archnemesis, he is..."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I keep seeing all these folks running past me at simply appalling speeds. Speeds beyond the ken of mortal man! Or has the booze just blurred my vision?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You haven't seen the really elite legions of Tumerok warriors, have you? They strike silently in the night and kill everything in sight. And they carry a banner with my face on it, in respect for my skill and power."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What's all this bad noise I hear washing up from way down in the southwest? Durned nuisances, those Virindi."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "That F.P., he's a groovy frood."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yep yep, I finally did it, cleared them Virindi away from my town with the force of my mind. Yep, my town."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I passed Bael'Zharon's test, just like Blackthorn and Vidorian did. He bought me a nice cold beer afterward. We didn't bother with any of that "Dark Monarch" claptrap."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Imagine the lip on those folks from the Guild of Bestowers. I could grant titles too, but I'd only grant titles to people who could outdrink me. Fat chance of that."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Torvold, that blowhard, he wrote that inane spell research primer and thinks everybody ought to kiss his feet in gratitude. His suggestions are way off! He neglected to mention the importance of orichalcum in spell research."

"Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You figured out yet how to cast the new, more powerful set of Life Magic spells?  Yeah, thank me later.  No one believes I invented them."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Arrr, it's good to be back here.  That Virindi dungeon smelled bad.  For such a light and airy bunch of people, they sure are smelly!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Ha, those Virindi thought they could keep me down... Not old Ulgrim, my friend, I'm too wily for them!  I was prepared for their mind tricks!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "In all seriousness though, Lacandrillar and Adirred were some of the scariest folks I've ever met.  Incomprehensible most of the time, but very scary."

The following quotations are from the Virindi Ulgrim:

Ulgrim tells you, "I find that I have acquired a taste for the wine sold by the Barkeep. Would you bring me a glass? Good human." 

Ulgrim tells you, "Just between you, me, and the bottle, human, the theft of the Fragment of Singularity has made some beings angry." 

You give Ulgrim Red Wine. 
Ulgrim tells you, "I'm not entirely convinced the Director and the Observer are communicating properly..." 

Ulgrim tells you, "Thank you, I find this most pleasant. Run along, now." 

Ulgrim tells you, "You know... two of the little flesh things managed to escape to the southeast..."

Ulgrim tells you, "I saw a human with a sword attack an Executor the other day. The human never stood a chance. Rip, rip, rip, another inert human." 

Ulgrim tells you, "Just don't tell the Observer that I'm drinking this human filth, okay?" 

Ulgrim tells you, "A pity the Dark Walker has been banished. He was most entertaining to watch."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Have you ever seen a group of Shadow Children playing tag? I like to fire off an Infernae spell at the middle of them and hear the screams."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'd go into the Mines of Despair, but I think I'll have a little more stout first..."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I went poking around in Claude's tent the other day, that creepy bugger Leopold, you know what he said to me? He said, "You have no chance to survive, make your time." What's that supposed to mean?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "The sun out here must be baking my brain. I think maybe I'll move somewhere shadier soon."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I got some new boots. Scaly, yet comfortable. But don't call them fish boots!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Seen them black-cloaked Executors drifting around? No good can come of this, I say."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Stout makes a man mean! Arrr!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "The big tragedy in this whole Bael'Zharon affair is what happened to Isin Dule. The guy makes a naked grab for power and backstabs his master, then gets thoroughly worked over by both sides. Sometimes life is unfair. Though I have to say, better him than me!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Me and MacDugal, we were talking one day, over a mug of Olde Ispar Stout, and I said to him, "You know, Mac, a multi-strike dagger would be really handy. I bet you'd just have to balance the hilt right." That cheat, he stole my idea! And he gets all cocky about his "bandit blades." Ha. "Ulgrim blades" would be a more accurate description."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Vitae is all a state of mind. Usually results when you've been hit in the back of the head by a Lugian boulder."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Any day now, I'll have myself some new armor with lots of shiny bits on it. Won't you be jealous then?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It's a strange world. I aim to keep it that way!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I went poking around in Claude's tent the other day, and I swear on my liver that the creepy bugger smiled at me! What's he up to?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You laugh at me when I warn you about the Virindi, but you'll see! When your brain turns to applesauce and gets sucked out through a straw, don't say, "Old Ulgrim never warned me about this!""

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Here's a word of warning, "Don't trust Ketnan!" What? Fine, that was three words. I'm a scholar, not a mathematician!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I see Virindi people."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Of course the Virindi want me dead! I'm the only one who's on to their nefarious plots! It's a testament to my power and dedication that I've managed to stay alive this long. Be careful. The worst is yet to come."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I got paid a little visit from Asheron the other day. He was a little upset with all these rumors floating around about him and Elysa. I don't actually think he could turn me into a...but just in case, I'm sure all these sordid, mysterious details about their relationship are actually prim and proper."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Although he was very upset. I heard strong passions can do that to a man."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Well now that Claude is officially Mr. Ayan Baqur, I hope he reaches out to some of the humans in the community. All of this Virindi versus humans stuff hurts the very social fabric of Ayan Baqur! Even if the mask-faces are a bunch of lying and sniveling morons!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You didn't hear that from me."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You'll notice that Bael'Zharon didn't attack me. He knew the consequences of that folly, yes sir!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You know, the more I think about it, Bael'Zharon probably isn't that bad of a guy after all. If I had to live here for thousands of years, I'd probably go a little crazy too."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Hah! I knew those goats would lose to the anointed. I may not be all there, but I am here, eh?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I told those mages, "Your shops are a disaster. You never have what people need, why do you expect them to come to your store?" I only asked for a small cut of the profits for my advice. I'm sure the first payment will be coming in any day."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I told them not to break that crystal... I can't have anything nice."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'm telling you, the water hasn't changed to blood - it's just an algae bloom!" 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I hear that when Queen Elysa returns, she's going to teach archers Asheron's levitation spell. Then they won't need walls anymore." 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'll tell you why! Him and Elysa, all alone in that great big castle for ten years? Mm-hm. Tell me there's not a swooning romantic novel in there." 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant winks, nudges you, and says no more. 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Asheron. Bah. If he's so all-fired tough, why isn't he stopping Bael'Zharon?" 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Claude won the Mr. Ayan Baqur contest? I demand a recount!" 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Claude's running dog lackies rigged the Mr. Ayan Baqur contest vote! I must have a recount!" 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Recount it again! It's wrong! The Virindi don't even have fingers - how can you trust them to count the Mr. Ayan Baqur contest votes?" 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Mayoi and Nanto must be counted again! The Virindi are trying to steal the Mr. Ayan Baqur contest election!" 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Voting? Whassat about, eh? Yeh don't vote for kings." 

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Vitae is all a state of mind."

"So, have ye killed your first Tremendous Monouga yet? What a great trophy you can get off'em - a toenail clipping you can use as a sword! And they cut through enchantments! And do 50 damage!"

"I once lived on an island. For a long time, too. Me and a Skipper sure had some good times"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Oswald was sighted in Xarabydun yesterday!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Oswald was sighted on Aerlinthe Island yesterday!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I killed the armor smiths. They annoyed me, with all their attitude about making these elite suits or armor. I'm pretty spry for an old man, huh?"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I saw the strangest thing in the northern forests. Huge blue auroch and a big Monouga named Paul."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Kimchi cures vitae, you know. Good stuff, so it is."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, " I hear tell that a family of Tremendous Monougas now lives under the Obsidian Span."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I hear tell that Bael'Zharon's parents were drunkards, and they would tie him up in the trees for their drunken fun. That's why he's so poorly adjusted."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've been getting... some reports... of portal storms... Asheron... is fixing... the portal network... I love Asheron... I've got mail!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It's pronounced SAHL-claim, not SOLE-claim!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I developed some new spells the other day. Never would've thought that  combination would work... Good thing too, because I didn't have enough  tapers anyhow."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "That Virindi, Claude, you want to watch out for him. Treacherous and inscrutable. And his reagents are defective!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I just talked to Lilitha last week. She said she made a powerful new bow."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Ever seen Orichalcum weapons? They're orange and can be shaped into whatever you want!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You want to know where the Empyrean are? They're hiding inside the lifestones. Sucking our life-force away like the stout in this mug..."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I saw someone in Arwic the other day with pointy ears and big, purple eyes. Never seen anyone like that in Dereth before..."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Last week I saw a Tumerok riding an Auroch. It was the strangest damned thing I have ever seen."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "That town crier...All she reports is a pack of lies!"

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Jaleh likes to pretend he's so tough, but he's just bluffing. And he didn't clear this place out all by himself, either. I did most of the work."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Don't ask me about the Silifi of Crimson Stars! I keep telling people, there's no such thing!"